Thursday, December 18, 2014

First Timer

I read with interest that there are some strip clubs in this country where for the right price, you can fuck a dancer or get her to go down on you.  As far as I know, we don't have that anywhere near where I live.  I would imagine that if you went into any club and waved a few thousand dollars, there would be a girl who would do that but I don't have that kind of money.

I am writing because at age 36, I am still a virgin.  I'd rather not explain why except that I had some terrible parental issues and didn't feel I could date girls on that basis while my mother was still alive.  She died four years ago and since then my problem has been that I can't seem to meet anyone.  I have a dread fear that if it doesn't happen by the time I'm 40, it will never happen and I will live the rest of my life feeling like I've missed something and am just too repulsive for any woman to care about.

I thought to traveling to Nevada to visit a legal brothel but when I go online to their sites or watch that TV series set in a brothel, the women look so unappealing and mercenary to me.  I am more interested in dancers because I go to strip clubs locally and always see a few girls I fantasize about and I know I could be happy losing my virginity to one of them.  So my first question is whether the strip clubs with the high mileage girls have the same good selection.

My next question is a little more difficult to ask.  Am I setting myself up for a colossal disappointment?  Will I get there and find that sex with a dancer is rushed and impersonal and unsatisfying?  And how do I go about arranging it if I want to still do that?

The first thing I have to tell you us that this bullshit about age 40 is just that.  40 is just an age.  I am considerably over 40 and I have plenty of opportunities to get laid both in strip clubs and outside them.  I am not a millionaire and I do not look like Jon Hamm.  If I can do it, you can do it.

The main advice I have to give you about strip clubs is to dress just a little better than the other guys who go to strip clubs.  Do not overdress.  Make sure you shower and are clean and that you tip appropriately and don't treat the women like whores even when they are whores.

If you want to get laid in a strip club, consult the internet and see which clubs allow that kind of thing.  Keep in mind that some guys lie on websites about that shit so one message is not proof of anything.  Keep in mind also that if it appears that Jasmine at a certain club is available for fucking, that does not mean she will do it with every guy who walks in or that other girls at the same club offer the same services.  You may have to talk with a few girls at a few clubs.

Talk with them.  If a girl is willing to fuck for money, she will usually have a way of letting you know that.  If she tried to sell you on a V.I.P., ask her about what you can do.  Make sure you are very sure about what she is offering before you commit and what the full price will be including room and tip and do not pay her in advance.

Bring your own condoms.  It will break your heart if you find the right girl and she says she doesn't have any.

Also, if you've never had sex before, spend some time and money learning how to put on a condom quickly.

Will it be satisfying?  I can't say.  I have had some experiences that were and some that were not.  It depended on the girl but it also depended on my mood.  I have had some terrific fucks in strip clubs.

Do not confuse this for sex with a real girl friend.  Fucking a dancer can be a great experience and a decent fill-in for sex with a real girl friend but it is not the same thing.  With a real girl friend, you can take your time and not hand her money at the end.  Of course with a real girl friend, you also have some responsibility for getting her off and for her having a good time.  Personally, I enjoy that part but some guys don't so they're better off with dancers and hookers.

If you read back on this site, I think I've answered some questions like this before so you may find more info there.

Good luck.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Bad Visit

I had a bad experience in a strip club recently.  This is a low mileage club but the girls are cute enough to make it worth going there.  My problem was with a bouncer guy there who is very nasty and makes the place seem unfriendly.  The girls are friendly but this guy is not.

I selected a dancer and we went back to the booth area.  I sat down in the chair with the curtain open as we were waiting for the song in progress to stop.  The dancer was with me and suddenly the bouncer comes by, takes her aside and whispers something to her I cannot here.  She comes to me and says she's not going to be allowed to do the dance with me because my fly is down.

I look.  My fly is not down.  I show her.  She calls the bouncer over and tells him.  He says, "He zipped it up but his fly was down when he walked back here with you."

I tell him politely he is wrong.  He gets hostile with me.  I tell him to call the manager.  He pulls out a walkie-talkie and calls the manager.

The manager comes in and I explain the problem.  The manager says, "Well, it's your word against his."  I point out that it's my word AND the dancer's word against it.  The manager says, "She doesn't count.  She just doesn't want to lose the dance."

In front of the manager, I ask the bouncer what he saw that made him think my fly was down.  He says he saw the white of my shorts.  I was wearing dark blue jeans so the white stood out.

I say, "I'm not wearing white shorts."  I open my pants a bit to show that my shorts are dark red.  I tell him the bouncer owes me an apology and I think he owes the dancer an apology for basically accusing her of lying.

The manager tells me to get the fuck out of his club.  What should I have done?

Get the fuck out of his club.  You can't win with assholes like that.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014


All of your points are true concerning the above subjects. I would be interested on your comparison of securing escorts on the internet compared to the strip club experience. My experience during the last year has been one of declining quality of the dancers in the strip clubs, music levels that are physically painful, and drink promotion that is highly offensive.

My activity on the internet with escorts has been more and more active with better and better results. The quality of the escorts generally is much higher than dancers, you have an endless selection, and the cost is marginal compared to what the club charges. All the things you see in a porn film you can do in your house or hotel for less than sharing time with a dancer.

I don't have any experience securing escorts on the internet.  I have been fortunate for a long time to have a lady I thought was beautiful in my life who took care of my sexual desires and did all the things I see in porn movies that I want to do.  It has not always been the same lady but there has usually been someone.

I go to strip clubs because I like strip clubs.  I like sitting there and watching girls dance.  I like talking with dancers.  I like getting lap dances and having that brief relationship with an attractive woman without incurring the involvement that would result if we went somewhere and fucked.  Apart from my trip not long ago to a German FKK, I have not paid for sex for quite some time unless you count lap dances where there was some sexy contact without penetration.

I am not criticizing anyone at all who pays for sex.  I have in the past and I might in the future.  It's just not something I'm presently looking for when I go to a strip club.

I think I would be afraid of using an online escort service.  I would be afraid of committing to sex with a woman until I had met her and talked with her.  When I was in my twenties or thirties, I could see a woman and instantly decide I had to fuck her.  These days, it takes more personal interest.  Even back then though I don't think I would have jumped based on photos.

I think I would also be uncomfortable going to meet a strange girl in a strange apartment or bringing her into my home.

I know guys who use these services.  I had one friend whose wife was out of the country for two years on a job and during that time, he must have fucked every Asian escort in the Los Angeles area who said in her online ad that she was under 30.  He offered to treat me to a session with his favorite but I declined.  Even when the wife was in town, he managed to see his favorite once a week.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Feature Dancers

How are the porn stars who do feature dancing received by the regular dancers in a club and vice versa? Are most porn performers who dance, divas when they're at the club and how do they affect the regulars income? If you have any specific stories from your managing days that would be appreciated!

In the club I managed, we had dancers who had done porn but we never billed them as featured dancers and most of them did not dance under their porn names.

I sent your question to an ex-dancer I knew who worked as as assistant manager at a club that had featured dancers.  This is what she sent me.>

Some of the girls were divas who bitched about their dressing rooms, the lighting, the music, the billing and everything.  Some of them were nice.  On the whole though, they were more trouble than they were worth.  Most of them brought more customers in but by the time the boss got through paying their fees and expenses, it wasn't really worth it.  Also, the other dancers made nothing from the guys who came in to see the feature.

I think this may be a Southern California thing. In other cities, it's a big thing to see a porn star perform. I've never seen them care much out here.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Porn Vs. Strip Clubs

You have made mention of how the tons of free porn on the internet has cut into business at strip clubs.  What advantages do you think strip clubs have over porn?

You can't touch the girls when you watch porn.  You can't smell their perfume.  You can't talk to them.  Just as a strip club patron, I have often establishing relationships with dancers that have led to seeing them outside the club.  I have never had a two-way relationship with a porn queen while sitting home and jacking off to her videos.

I find a lot of porn these days very fake.  I used to follow a lot of porn girls on Twitter but it became obvious to me that most of those ladies were not posting their own messages.  A few apparently do but most of the messages came from guys who were managers or boy friends or maybe husbands who were posting those "Oh, I'm so horny tonight" messages for the girls' fans.

When I talk to a girl at a strip club, she may be lying to me but at least it's her doing the lying.

I actually do not get a lot of lies from dancers.

I am a lot less interested in porn girls than I am in dancers.  Most porn girls are taken.  I am amazed how some of them even brag about their husbands and lovers.  Don't they know that that kills the fantasy for a lot of guys?  I don't mean we fantasize about maybe meeting these women and marrying them someday.  It's just a little harder to pretend the girl is yours for a little while when you know she's taken.

A strip club dancer may be taken too but she is in your lap and you're touching each other and that contact makes up a little for the knowledge that she may be going home to some guy or gal.  When she gets naked for you in the lap dance booth, she's getting naked just for you, not for every guy in the world at once.

Back when private dances were first introduced into the clubs I went to, you couldn't touch the dancers at all and vice-versa.  They just danced for you in a private room and put on basically the same show they did on stage.  It was still exciting and worth the money to be alone with them and to have them dancing just for you and showing their body off just to you.  I like it when a beautiful nude woman pays attention to me.

I think clubs make a mistake these days to play the music so loud.  I've been in clubs where it was impossible to have any kind of conversation with a dancer.  I think there are guys who go into clubs because they like to talk to dancers.  I can talk to strange women in bars but they aren't women who just danced naked for me.  There is a level of intimacy between a dancer and a customer that I find very comfortable.

Most porn bores me.  Only rarely do the women show any personality.  Only rarely do I think they are doing anything or saying anything other than what the director told me to do and say.  Every so often, I see a sparkle in a girl's eyes or she says something that sounds real.  I make better contact with dancers and every so often, one of them decides she's like to see me outside the club or even sleep with me.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Selling Drinks

My dancer friend told me that the other day at her club, a dancer was sitting with a customer and the waitress came over and asked the customer if he'd like to buy a drink for the dancer.

The customer turned to the dancer and asked if she wanted a drink. The dancer thought she was on the verge of selling the customer a very expensive lap dance and didn't want to delay it and give him the chance to change his mind so she said no. Instead, the dancer and customer went off and did the very expensive lap dance.

An hour later, the dancer was fired. The other dancers were instructed that if you're asked if you want a drink, the answer is ALWAYS yes.


My friend thinks that is stupid from a business standpoint. Why risk losing a $300 dance to sell a $10 drink? Why fire a dancer who sells as many $300 dances as this one does?

I'm going to guess this happened at a Deja Vu, a Spearmint Rhino or some other large chain.  Chains tend to have rules like that and the managers are forced to apply them even when they don't make sense.

I know a dancer who was fired from a chain club that had a rule that every dancer had to sell five drinks per shift.  This dancer sold tons of lap dances.  In fact, she probably didn't sell a lot of drinks because she was always in the back giving lap dances.

The club made a fortune off those dances but since they weren't making some nickels off the drink sales because of this girl, they got rid of her.  They kept dancers who made them less money.  It's insane.

In case you haven't been reading this blog, I think an awful lot of things I see in strip clubs these days are insane and very bad business.

Monday, October 20, 2014


It's been a while since I told a story about my strip club managing days.

I had a customer named Smitty who was a great customer. He was a nice guy and he was the first guy to tell me if the men's room was dirty or if he sensed trouble with some dancer. One time, he came to me and told me about a girl at another club.

Smitty didn't go to other clubs often but one time when he did, he saw a girl named Summer. He said she was the best looking dancer he had ever seen. He hated the club but he loved her and he thought she should be working for me. He obviously had a selfish reason for this because he wanted her at my club where the rooms were more comfortable and the dance prices were better but he also felt he would be helping her.

I trusted Smitty's judgement so I was sure this lady was beautiful. But I told him I didn't want to approach her and try to steal her away. I knew the manager of this other club and I didn't want to piss him off. I also didn't like the idea of managers trying to steal other girls away. If she came to me on her own, that was different.

Smitty understood. The next day, he told me he had been to the club again and talked to Summer in a private dance. She wanted to talk to me to find out about my club and me and maybe she would come over. She didn't want to come in to my club because she was afraid some customer of both clubs would see her and it would get back to the manager of her club. If she decided to stay there, she didn't want him to know she had been looking for a better place.

Smitty arranged for me to meet Summer for coffee at 4 PM that afternoon at a certain coffee shop. I asked him how I would recognize her. He said "She will be the most beautiful woman in the coffee shop".

I got there at 3:50. At 4:00 on the dot, a stunning woman walked in wearing a halter top and short shorts. I knew it was Summer. I also knew that she would be a great dancer at my club. I didn't even have to see her strip to know that.  She was 2/3 naked in the coffee shop.

I also really liked that she was on time. A lot of dancers are never on time for anything.

I told her about my club. She told me all the things she didn't like about the club where she was now working. Her biggest complaint was one rule.

She had another, full-time job which she didn't want to give up. She worked 9-5 at a business and then wanted to dance in the evenings to supplement her income. That is not unusual.

Like most strip clubs, her club was busiest on Friday and Saturday nights. On a good Saturday, she could make as much as she would make working Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday all together. What she really wanted to do was only work Friday and Saturday nights.

It was not just because of the money. The club required that if you worked evenings, you had to be there until closing. On Sunday through Thursday, that was 2 AM.

Except on Friday and Saturday nights, she had to be at work the next day by 9. It was a real problem for her to dance until 2 AM and then to get home and get sleep and get up and clean up in time to be at work by 9.

In this club, they had a rule.  You couldn't work Friday or Saturday unless you also took a weekday night.  In order to work Friday and Saturday nights, Summer also had to work two other nights per week.  She picked Monday and Wednesday.

She told me she made very little on those nights.  She said sometimes she would sit around the last hour or two and there would not be a single customer in the place.  But the club had another rule which was that you couldn't leave early.

So on those two nights, she would make very little money and only get about 4 hours sleep before she had to get up to go to her other job.  It was rough.  She told me that if I would let her work only Friday and Saturday nights, she would come to work for me.

We made that deal.  She was one of my best dancers.

I knew Tom, the guy who ran the club she'd left.  When he heard she was working for me, he called me and angrily accused me of stealing his best girl away.  He told me that in the past, some of my girls had gone to see about working for him and he had refused them out of some definition of ethics that I thought was bullshit.  I also thought his claim that any of my girls had gone to see him and he'd turned them down was bullshit on both ends.

What he was really mad about was that he had let Summer get away.  Not only did she come over but a lot of her customers came with her.  She was smart enough to do another week or two at his club before she came to work for me.  She told all her regulars where they'd be able to find her.

I would say that Summer boosted my business 25% on Fridays and Saturdays while I had her.  The guys who came in to see her would also get dances with other girls.

That was what Tom was mad about but he was also mad that I didn't have the same silly rules he had about how you couldn't leave before closing time even if the club was empty or how you had to work Tuesday in order to work Saturday.  His girls started asking him why they had to put up with those rules when the girls at my club didn't.

Summer worked for me for about six months, then she told me she was giving up dancing due to personal issues in her life.  She didn't explain what they were and I didn't ask.  She said she wasn't sure if she would go back to it.

I made her an offer.  If she came back to it, I would give her a better split on dance prices.  I didn't do that for many girls but she was worth it.  Hell, it would have been worth it to me to let her keep all the money the guys paid for dances with her.

She said that was very sweet of me and if she did go back to dancing, it would be at my club.  Sadly, I don't think she ever went back to dancing.

She did come by one time to visit.  I told her she looked great and urged her to get back into dancing.  She said "You wouldn't want me in about two months.  That's when I'll probably be showing".  She was pregnant.  She said she wanted to be a mother and not a dancer.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Being Approached

Why do some dancers put no effort in to approaching customers?  I was at a club the other day on a weeknight and it wasn't all that busy. I had gotten a few dances from a few different ladies (one of which I am a regular of). Later that night I saw a dancer I hadn't seen before (we'll call her Jasmin). She was gorgeous, she had a great natural body, probably the best girl I've ever seen in a strip club.

Anyway, I wanted to get a couple dances from her. I sat along the stage when it was her time to perform and I tipped her well. There were a couple other guys that also were tipping but it didn't look like they were giving as much as I was. When all the other dancers perform they always introduce themselves, thank you for the tip, and rub their tits on your face. This girl did none of that but I still wanted a dance from her cause she was that hot.

I've never had a problem with dancers approaching me and asking if I wanted a dance. I'm in my early 30's, not over weight, clean, freshly shaved, and I smell good. So I figured she would come up to me at the bar at some point that night. When she got off stage she went straight to the dressing room.

A little while later I was talking with a dancer I had gotten a dance from earlier that evening (we'll call her Summer). She asked if there was someone else I wanted a dance from. She mentioned how it was a slow night and some of the dancers were complaining about it yet they weren't putting in any effort in regards to approaching customers. I let mentioned which girl I was hoping to get a dance from so she said she would go tell Jasmin that I was hoping to get a dance from her. I saw Summer walk up to Jasmin and motion over to me. Summer came back and said Jasmin was going on stage next but she would come find me when she was done. I thanked Summer and gave her a tip.

I went back along the stage and tipped Jasmin even better than I did before. Once again there was only 2-3 other guys, none of them tipping as much as I was. I would have asked Jasmin to come see me after she was done but she never really got close enough to be able to ask her.

I went back over by the bar near the stage when she was done. After she got off stage I thought she was walking up to me so I said hi and asked how she was doing. She barely gave me a response and then got a water and headed back for the changing room.

A few minutes later Summer came up to me and asked if I talked to Jasmin. I said no, Summer said she had just come from the changing room and she didn't see Jasmin back there so she didn't know where she went.

A little while later Jasmin came back out and got up on a table with a pole and started dancing even though no one was watching. Summer made eye contact with her and motioned toward me but Jasmin just kind of shook it off. Then Summer went up to talk to Jasmin. Jasmin then finally came up to me and asked if I wanted a dance.

We went to the booths and the dance was a little disappointing. She just kind of went through the motions during the 4 songs. She took her top off and let me squeeze her tits and she grinded on me, but she wasn't rubbing her tits all over me like all the other dancers do.

I don't regret getting the dances cause she was a ten and at least she let me play with her tits. I guess it makes sense that the hottest girls usually put the least amount of effort into lap dances.

I was at this club for several hours, and the lap dance with this girl occurred about an hour and a half before the club closed and it wasn't all that busy. I can understand that when it's busy a hot girl can be picky about who she gives a laps dance to. But I didn't see her talking with any guys the entire time I was there. She seemed more interested I talking with one of the other dancers and watching one of the other dancers then she was about making money.

Why would she come to work if she didn't seem to care about making money?

I think some ladies feel depressed and embarrassed when they ask a lot of guys for dances and get turned down.  So they just wait for their regulars to come in.  I know at least one girl who really feels that way.  She goes to the club on certain nights to meet certain guys who will probably come in.

Also, some girls are really sensitive about moving in on another dancer's customer.  About a year ago, I went to a club where I always see a dancer I'll call Honey.  I went in and Honey wasn't around.  I think she was in the back with another customer.

So I'm sitting there and this other dancer comes over, plops herself down on my lap and throws her arms around my neck and sticks her tits in my face.  She was welcoming me and being charming and sexy and friendly and she asks my name and tells me hers and I really feel like I'm being sold.

That's OK.  I don't mind it if the girl knows when to take no for an answer.  The thing is that I'm there to see Honey and didn't have enough money on me to get dances from two girls.  I didn't want to waste this girl's time so I told her I was there to see someone.  I said truthfully "You're awfully cute but I came in to see a friend of mine and financially, I can't do right by two girls tonight".

The minute she heard I was there to see someone else, she leaped off my lap and almost began crying and saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't know".  I told her it was OK and that some time I might come by and get a dance with her but she really acted like she'd committed some horrible crime by coming on to Honey's customer.  Later Honey told me that when they were in the back getting ready to do a lineup, this girl apologized to her.

It was not a big deal.  Honey would not have minded if I'd gotten a dance with another girl.  After all, she was doing dances with other guys.  She might have minded if I only got one with her and didn't tip so I'd have money for the other girl but she wasn't outraged by the thought of me getting a dance with someone else.

Obviously, this girl had a bad experience where she did make an enemy of another dancer because she unknowingly hit on her customer.  That is why some girls don't approach guys.  Yes, they want to make money but they like the idea that they won't hit on other girls' customers and those girls won't hit on hers.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Being Sent Home

I had an interesting experience the other day.  There is a club I go to often and there is a dancer there I like a lot.  Most of the time when I go, it's because she texts me and lets me know she's working.

Yesterday afternoon, she was working but when she texted me around Noon to tell me, I texted her back that I was busy and too tired to go.  She texted back she understood.

Around 3 PM, she texted me to ask if I could come out and buy a few dances from her.  She said she hadn't sold a single dance and the manager was saying things about how maybe he shouldn't put her on the lineup anymore.  I don't know why no one was buying dances because she's very cute and IMHO, the best looking dancer in the club.

I texted her back that I was coming to her rescue.  I shaved, showered and got dressed and got in my car and began driving to the club which is about 40 minutes away.  I left my house at 3:30.  At 3:50 when I was halfway there, she called me in the car to say that the manager had sent her home.  She still hadn't sold a dance and he said he had other girls who were eager to work who might do better.  They have some sort of limit on how many dancers they want to have working at a time.

She protested that she had a good customer on the way in but he said "Tough" and made her leave.  She is not sure if she is still welcome to work at that club.

You can imagine how I felt.  I asked her if she wanted to get together anyway but she was too upset.

I don't know why the club sent her home.  Is this kind of thing normal?

Well, it is not abnormal for strip club managers to not be too smart.  It is also not unusual for them to treat all their dancers as interchangeable and to not give a shit if they lose one or piss one off.

I would be curious to know some things about the club that day.  Were there a lot of customers there?  Were other girls selling a lot of dances and not just to their regulars?

It is not unusual for a club to blame the dancers when business is not good.  The run the club badly.  They do no advertising or ineffective advertising.  They don't post their roll calls on the internet or a phone recording.  They make the club unpleasant for customers.  They drive away good dancers or don't do a good job making sure they have enough of them present for every shift.

And then when profits are down, they blame the dancers because there is nobody in the place.

This seems to have happened around the first of the month.  It is common at clubs to get calls from dancers around that time to say "Can I work a few more days?  I'm having trouble coming up with the rent".  That may be what happened there.  Possibly, the manager wanted to make room for some dancer he likes personally or owes a favor.

It does happen that even the best, hottest dancers have days when they don't do so well.  If you're a brunette, there are days when every guy who walks in wants a blonde.

I have no advice except that if this kind of thing happens again, your friend should find another place to work.  If she's as pretty as you say, she should be able to do that.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

From the Strip Club Hound

I haven't asked this in a while but I'd like to ask again that if you enjoy this blog, tell others.  Post links on other boards where people write about strip clubs.

I do not take advertising.  I do not charge admission.  I just ask that you spread the word.  I would like to get more readers here.  Thank you.