Monday, March 23, 2015

Some Strip Club Managers Are Idiots 3

Went to what used to be my favorite club the other night. This kind of crap is why it's no longer my favorite club.

I went in and scoped out all the girls. I tip well on stage but save most of my money for one big lap dance before I go. That's my style. I watch all the girls, decide on one and then blow a big wad on a long private session with that one girl and I tip her well.

I made my selection early on. Her name was Nikki. When she came by to ask me for a dance, I told her that if she came back in a half-hour, I would be ready for her. I didn't tell her that with tip, I would probably be spending at least $400 on our session but I made it clear I wasn't talking about one dance.

Twenty minutes later, she came by in her street clothes. She said she was sorry but the boss had just told her to get dressed and go home because she wasn't selling enough dances that evening. Then she left.

I was so bummed, I didn't go to my second choice. I went home. What the f happened here?

You went to a strip club run by an idiot.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Some Strip Club Managers Are Idiots 2

My favorite dancer just quit the club where she's worked for a year.  I wish I could send you a photo of her because she is beautiful in a Playboy way with a perfect natural body and very large real breasts.  She is exactly what you want a girl who works in a strip club to be like and the other girls at the club told me she is the top earner at the club.

The one complaint I have about her is that it is sometimes very difficult to get a dance with her.  One time, I asked her as she walked by and she told me she was very sorry but she had two customers ahead of me who had been waiting and it might take an hour for them.  She felt so bad about this that she gave me her text number and after that when I went in, I would text her first and make an appointment for a certain time.

She texted me and all her customers recently that she has left the club.  I went in anyway and one of the other girls told me that the club has gone crazy with docking the girls' pay for the silliest shit.  The girl who told me this says that they charged her $100 because they said she had messed up the dressing room.  She said she didn't so anything and she asked them to show her on the tape they have of where she was messing up the dressing room.  They refused to show her the tape and they fined her anyway.

This girl says he would leave if there was another club nearby but there is not.  My ATF has left and decided to go to Las Vegas for a few months and make her money there.  I'll bet she will clean up but I am sad that she has left the club near me.  The girl there told me it was because of the silly fines for not getting on stage fast enough or being three minutes late.  Because of those, they lost a girl who sold more lap dances than any other girl in the place.  Why do they do these things?

You went to a strip club run by an idiot.

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Some Strip Club Managers Are Idiots 1

I want to tell you about what happened to me a few nights ago.  I came into some money recently so I decided to go to my favorite strip club and do it right.  Usually when I have been there, I don't have enough money to tip the girls properly and to do as many lap dances as I might like.  I also sometimes get there and am rushed to make a decision because it's getting late and they're closing and I'm afraid that if I don't pick a certain dancer now, she may go home or be tied up with another customer until closing time.

Nude dances here are $40 each and I wanted to get at least three sets of three so that was $360.  I expected to tip those three girls at least $40 each and I expected to throw around another $100 on stage tips so I brought along enough money for all that.  I arrived early enough to spend at least 3 hours there.

There were between 12 and 18 dancers working.  I decided I would sit and watch and tip until I had seen every one on stage.  I would take my time selecting the 3 girls I would take back for lap dances.

I was there about an hour and I was tipping $2-$5 for each girl who got up on stage.  During this time, many of the girls in the club approached me about private dances but I told all of them, "Maybe later" because I was determined to see all of them before deciding and taking my time.

I had almost seen all of them when the manager came up to me.  He looked real angry and I couldn't imagine what I had done.  He said, "Hey, buy some lap dances or get the fuck out of here!"

I was so startled and insulted that I got up and left with most of the money I came in to spend.  I didn't even spend all of the $100 I expected to spend on stage tips.  I don't think I will ever go back to that club.

What did I do wrong here?

You went to a strip club run by an idiot.

Monday, March 9, 2015

Dating Dancers

There's a debate raging on BonedIn about whether it's possible or even desirable to have a girl friend relationship with a dancer.  I know you've written about this before but what are your current thoughts about this?

Yes, it is possible to have a girl friend relationship with a dancer.  I currently have one with an ex-dancer.  I have had them with girls who were then working as dancers.

The relationships were no different from relationships I've had with women who would never think of dancing nude or topless in a public place.  Some of the relationships worked out and some didn't.

I read over some of the BonedIn discussion.  The problem there is that some of those guys are looking for whores and some of them are looking for girl friends.  If you're looking for one, it's hard to discuss matters with someone looking for the other.

There are whores in strip clubs.  There are clubs that welcome them and encourage them and look the other way when they give blow jobs.  There are also dancers who don't do that kind of thing and don't work in clubs where they could do that kind of thing.

Recently, I spoke with a dancer who works in a low mileage club where the management doesn't allow sex.  She said there's been an increase lately in the number of customers who get into the lap dance booth with them, whip out their dicks and expect to be blown.  She points out how stupid and rude that is.

First of all, it's a club where that kind of thing is not allowed.  They could find that out in five minutes on the internet using Google.

Secondly, even in the clubs where that kind of thing is allowed, no girl is going to suck your dick in a $20 or $30 lap dance.

She says she tells them to put it away immediately or she'll have to call the manager.

Sometimes, they ask how much for a blow job?  The honest truth she says is that she would have to charge enough to live on for a few weeks until she can find another club to work at because she will get fired from this one.

Some guys are so fucking stupid they don't understand this.

If you want to find whores in strip clubs, it's not difficult.  They just may not be in the club that's closest to you.

Understand what you want and where to get it.  Understand that dancers all have different rules and so do clubs.  You might as well respect that because there's not a damn thing you can do to change it.

I believe meeting dancers to date is much more common in low mileage clubs.  The dancers view most of their customers a different way.

Yes, dancers do date customers and not for money.  Yes, normal dating does occur and I have known it to lead to living together and even marriage and children.  Most people do get married and the fact that a woman currently works as a dancer doesn't mean that she has ruled that out.  Even if she is gay, she may want to have a partner in life or even just date and go places with someone she likes.

I am not saying you will meet a dancer in a low mileage club and hit it off and begin going out.  There is no guarantee of that no matter where you meet women.  I am just saying that it does happen.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Bargaining for Extras!

In some strip clubs I go to, there are fixed prices for the services and there are no extras so I always know what to pay.  I pay the fixed price for the private dance and then I tip the dancer after if I enjoyed the dance.

I have more problems with the clubs where you have to negotiate for extra services.  I hate the haggling and I hate it when at the end, the dancer demands a tip of a certain amount.  What do you suggest?

Simple.  First thing, do not take your credit cards or ATM card into the club.  Leave them in the car or at home.

Second, decide in advance what you're willing to spend and what you want for it.  I am going to assume that if you're negotiating for extras, you're negotiating for a hand job or a blow job or full service sex and that after you get what you want, you're not going to stick around for other dances.

Find out what the club charges for the room you're going to want.  Let's say it's $40 a dance with a three-dance minimum.  Let's say you're reasonably confident that you can achieve what you want in those three dances so you'll be spending at least $120.

What will the girl expect?  That depends on the girl and the club.  Every dancer has the right to set her own price and some set it high because they'd rather not do whatever you want than do it for bad money.  Do not get mad at her for this.  You have your own price for doing whatever you do for a living.

Stick with your price.  Do not let a moment of horniness tempt you into a purchase you will later wish you had not made.  You may have a great moment of pleasure from her but you don't want to look back on it later and feel you were an idiot to pay so much for it.  That can ruin a nice memory.

You may have to reject a few girls.  You may have to say no.  That's how negotiation works.

Let's say you decide you can be comfortable spending $200.  Remember that that doesn't mean the club gets $120 and the girl gets $80.  She gets part of the $120.

Put $220 in your wallet.  Keep the rest in another pocket.

Let's say a girl you like says she'll do what you want for a $150 tip.  That would make $270 plus she might hit you up for an additional tip afterwards.

You say, "Gee, I'd love to but I only have $220 left and I need to have $20 for gas to get home".  You can even open your wallet and show her that you only have $220.

At this point, she may say yes or no.  She may offer you a reduced service for the money.  If she offers you a reduced service, say no.  Say "I had my heart set on what we discussed.  If you don't want to do it for that, I'll understand".

She may say yes.  She may say no.  If she says no, tell her you're sorry and then look for another girl.  If you ever bought a car, you may have turned down many offers for the same reason.

If she says yes, remind her that you can't give her your gas money as a tip.  If she still asks you for a tip after, say "If I had more on me, I'd give it to you but I'm not going to push my car home".  My experience has been that they don't ask because they figure you don't have it.

I haven't done one of these negotiations in a while but when I did, this always worked.  If the girl sees you have $220 in your wallet, she may suspect you have more money on you somewhere but she'll figure it's money she can't get.  One time, a dancer said "I'll bet you have more money hidden on you" and I told her "You can search me if you like but you're going to have to give me a tip if you do".

Most of the time, I would be getting a few warmup dances from different girls and then I'd spend my fixed amount on the last dancer who I would take to the VIP booth.  In this case, I would have more than my fixed amount in my wallet when I went in and I would pay for the warmup dances out of it.  Before I got serious about arranging for my final dance, I would go to the men's room and rearrange my money.

None of this works of course if you don't have the will power to say no.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

From the Strip Club Hound

I am not dead.  I have just been away from the site for a month because of personal matters mostly relating to the health of a family member.

I am also having trouble thinking of things to write here.  I haven't been to any strip clubs in a while.  Part of that is because of those personal matters and part of it is because my lady friend who used to be a dancer puts on pretty good shows at home.

If you'd like to see more posts here, it would help if you sent in questions or you could post them as comments on this message.  I also would appreciate it if those of you who like this site would mention it on other sites and drive some traffic this way.  Thank you.

Saturday, January 3, 2015

List Updated

Some friends of mine in the strip club business have made some suggestions for my list and I have revised a few items.

Friday, December 26, 2014

50 Tips for Strip Club Managers

I come up with these from time to time.  Some of these are old points that need to be repeated.
  1. Tell the disc jockey to turn the fucking music down so customers can talk to dancers.  The ladies can't sell guys if the guys can't hear them.
  2. Tell the disc jockey that he is not the show.  Unless close friends of his come in no one, NO ONE gives two shits about him.  They don't care how clever he is or how cool or how funny or how much he sounds like a real disc jockey who doesn't have to work in a strip club for a living.  He should CLEARLY ANNOUNCE THE NAMES OF THE DANCERS.  He should CLEARLY ANNOUNCE SPECIALS.  He should shut the fuck up about everything else.
  3. And he DEFINITELY should not ever get up on stage.  EVER!
  4. Tell the D.J. to lay off rap songs about violence and rape.  You don't want the kind of customers who love that shit.
  5. A lot of rap songs use the word "nigger" a lot.  Tell the D.J. that if he must play them at all, not to just play them when the black dancers are on stage.
  6. He should not be playing what he wants to hear.  He shouldn't even worry too much about what the customers want to hear.  He should play what the dancers want to dance to.
  7. Songs should be a consistent length and shouldn't get shorter when you call a two for one or a three for one.  Three minutes is a good length.
  8. Turn the heat up so the dancers aren't cold.  They can't be as naked when they're cold.
  9. Turn the lights up on stage so the customers can see how good your dancers look.
  10. Nobody gives a shit about fancy lighting effects and smoke on stage.  Most guys would like to see flesh in its actual color.
  11. If you don't have a line-up on stage where all available girls come up there and parade around, you should.
  12. During the line-up, the D.J. should identify each girl clearly so customers know the NAME of the girl they want to get a dance with.  It could even be more like a roll call with each dancer waving or doing a little sexy move when her name is read.
  13. It is occasionally necessary to tell a dancer she's putting on weight or getting lazy with her dancing or that she stinks of cigarettes.  If you haven't said it lately to anyone, maybe you should.
  14. Dancers who put on cologne or spray tan or body glitter should remember that they're going to be rubbing against men who are going home to their wives or back to the office.  One reason some men don't go to strip clubs is that they don't want to leave smelling of stripper or with smears of tan on their slacks.
  15. If the club says "nude" on the outside, the girls should get nude on the stage.  "Nude" does not mean wearing some clothes but flashing their tits and bush.  It means they take those clothes off.  It means nothing but shoes.
  16. An exception can be made for dancers who need to hide scars or other defects.   But if the girl has too many defects, she shouldn't be doing that for a living.
  17. Tell the dancers to smile at the customers and make them feel welcome.
  18. Remind the dancers that they can't sell dances while they're sitting in the dressing room texting their friends or playing games.  They need to get out and circulate.
  19. They should especially circulate right after they've been on stage.
  20. Don't gouge your customers on drinks or snacks.  If you're selling bottles of water for $7.00 each, don't buy the smallest kind.
  22. Customers hate having to tip a men's room attendant especially when all he does is hand you a paper towel after you wash your hands and try to sell you overpriced cologne and cigarettes.
  23. Women come into your club either as guys' dates or sometimes alone.  They must have an easily accessible bathroom and it must be routinely cleaned. 
  24. In fact, WOMEN SHOULD BE MADE TO FEEL JUST AS WELCOME IN YOUR CLUB AS MEN.  If you're not getting female customers, maybe it's because you don't make them feel like you want them there.
  25. Customers hate clubs with huge ATM fees or huge credit card surcharges.
  26. Customers hate clubs where the waitress is told to badger guys about buying drinks for dancers.  I've seen customers who were tipping and buying dances like crazy get up and leave the club because the server wasn't allowed to take no for an answer.  Why alienate a guy who's spending hundreds of dollars?  You should be comping that guy's drinks instead of badgering him into buying a Red Bull.
  27. A CUSTOMER SHOULD NEVER BE SURPRISED AT WHAT HE'S BEING CHARGED.  If he does buy the lady a drink, he should be told the price up front.  Again, why make a guy feel like a sucker in order to make $12 more off him?
  28. Don't get into a rhythm where dances are cheaper only every 30 minutes.  That means that if I decide five minutes after special time that I want to get a dance before I go, I'm either going to have to wait 25 minutes for it or leave now.  Most customers will leave in that situation.
  29. If a customer complains a dancer ripped you off, it's YOUR PROBLEM TO DEAL WITH.  You can't say "She's an independent contractor.  Settle it with her".  When a guy goes home feeling cheated, he does not say "I'm never going to dance with that one dancer again."  He says "I'm never going to go back to that shithole club again".
  30. Post frequent lineup announcements on your website.
  31. Post frequent lineup announcements on Twitter.
  32. Post frequent lineup announcements on sites like Boned In and ZBone.
  33. Treat Twitter as a free advertising tool, not a chore.
  34. Tweet and post information about whether you're open or closed or observing special hours on a holiday.  If a customer isn't sure you're open, he usually won't risk coming over.
  35. The hours you post have to correspond with when you actually have dancers present and performing.  If you open at Noon, there should be a couple of dancers working at Noon.  No one should ever come into your club and find three or less dancers on duty.  YOUR #1 DUTY AS MANAGER IS TO HAVE A DECENT LINEUP OF DANCERS ANY TIME YOU'RE OPEN!
  36. If you have dancers willing to pose for photos, even it means not showing their faces, send out pics of those great bodies.  You have no better advertising than to tell guys "If you come in, you can see this body in person and get a dance with her".
  37. Only the most important sports events are of interest to most customers.  You don't have to have the TV on when all that's on is male synchronized swimming.  News channels are pretty useless when you have to have the audio off.
  38. Remind the guy who keeps an eye on the lap dance area that THE CUSTOMERS ARE GUESTS and should be treated with politeness and respect, not treated like Bill Cosby with a fistful of Quaaludes.
  39. If the law will allow it in your area, dancers should be encouraged to not always put the entire bikini back on when wandering the club.  That should be their option and they should be compensated for it.  It's a selling point for your club.
  40. Somewhere in your club, there should be a clock that's easily visible for customers.  It is wrong to believe that causes guys to become aware of the time and leave sooner than they otherwise would.  It's the other way around.  They leave because they think it is later than it is.  Also, if you have a clock, they won't feel as much need to bring in cell phones to check on the time.
  41. Tell the girls who do a lot of pole work to leave their bottoms on when they're spinning on the pole.  The dancer after her may want to climb that pole.
  42. Your stage should never go more than 30 SECONDS without a woman on it who is either naked or about to get naked.  Some clubs make a rule that the stage is never to be empty.  A girl is not allowed to leave the stage until she can high-five the next girl coming on.
  43. If you serve alcohol, your dancers should never be drinking as much of it as your customers.  Seriously drunk dancers give seriously bad dances.
  44. If customers get rowdy or out of line with a girl, don't be afraid to toss them out.  They also make other customers uncomfortable.
  45. Don't let dancers reuse names.  A new dancer should not have the same name as any dancer who's worked there in the last three years.  It breaks guys' hearts when they see the name of a former love on your lineup, drive there and find out it's not the same girl.  There are other names dancers can have besides Amber, Jasmine, Nikki and Nadia.
  46. If you don't serve food in your club, try occasionally sending out for pizza and passing it around for free.  Tell the pizzeria to double the slices, meaning 16 instead of 8 per pie.  You might find pizza is a good investment. 
  47. Keep the lap dance areas clean and sanitized.  Also, it's just as bad when they smell of Lysol as when they smell of bodily fluids.
  48. If there are doors or curtains on the booths then the lights in there don't have to be too dim.  That's the place where the customer should get to see everything.  The exception would be when there are cameras and you don't want them to see everything.
  49. There's a saying in other businesses that the customer is always right.  In strip clubs, it should be that A CUSTOMER WHO IS SPENDING MONEY IS ALWAYS RIGHT.  You should be aware who those customers are and if one of them says the girl did 3 dances and she or your bouncer says it was 4, go with the customer's count.  Listen to those customers and treat them like they're important to you because they are.  I have seen clubs piss those people off over $20 and the customer leaves and never comes back.  Why lose a good customer over $20?
  50. Remember: THE GIRLS ARE THE PRODUCT.  The #1 reason guys go to your club is because they think you have great girls who get naked and are very friendly.  They don't go there because they like your DJ or your fucking Christmas decorations or your fancy logos.  They go because you have naked women they think are sexy.  If you forget that, you might as well get rid of the dancers and turn the building into a Vape shop.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

First Timer

I read with interest that there are some strip clubs in this country where for the right price, you can fuck a dancer or get her to go down on you.  As far as I know, we don't have that anywhere near where I live.  I would imagine that if you went into any club and waved a few thousand dollars, there would be a girl who would do that but I don't have that kind of money.

I am writing because at age 36, I am still a virgin.  I'd rather not explain why except that I had some terrible parental issues and didn't feel I could date girls on that basis while my mother was still alive.  She died four years ago and since then my problem has been that I can't seem to meet anyone.  I have a dread fear that if it doesn't happen by the time I'm 40, it will never happen and I will live the rest of my life feeling like I've missed something and am just too repulsive for any woman to care about.

I thought to traveling to Nevada to visit a legal brothel but when I go online to their sites or watch that TV series set in a brothel, the women look so unappealing and mercenary to me.  I am more interested in dancers because I go to strip clubs locally and always see a few girls I fantasize about and I know I could be happy losing my virginity to one of them.  So my first question is whether the strip clubs with the high mileage girls have the same good selection.

My next question is a little more difficult to ask.  Am I setting myself up for a colossal disappointment?  Will I get there and find that sex with a dancer is rushed and impersonal and unsatisfying?  And how do I go about arranging it if I want to still do that?

The first thing I have to tell you us that this bullshit about age 40 is just that.  40 is just an age.  I am considerably over 40 and I have plenty of opportunities to get laid both in strip clubs and outside them.  I am not a millionaire and I do not look like Jon Hamm.  If I can do it, you can do it.

The main advice I have to give you about strip clubs is to dress just a little better than the other guys who go to strip clubs.  Do not overdress.  Make sure you shower and are clean and that you tip appropriately and don't treat the women like whores even when they are whores.

If you want to get laid in a strip club, consult the internet and see which clubs allow that kind of thing.  Keep in mind that some guys lie on websites about that shit so one message is not proof of anything.  Keep in mind also that if it appears that Jasmine at a certain club is available for fucking, that does not mean she will do it with every guy who walks in or that other girls at the same club offer the same services.  You may have to talk with a few girls at a few clubs.

Talk with them.  If a girl is willing to fuck for money, she will usually have a way of letting you know that.  If she tried to sell you on a V.I.P., ask her about what you can do.  Make sure you are very sure about what she is offering before you commit and what the full price will be including room and tip and do not pay her in advance.

Bring your own condoms.  It will break your heart if you find the right girl and she says she doesn't have any.

Also, if you've never had sex before, spend some time and money learning how to put on a condom quickly.

Will it be satisfying?  I can't say.  I have had some experiences that were and some that were not.  It depended on the girl but it also depended on my mood.  I have had some terrific fucks in strip clubs.

Do not confuse this for sex with a real girl friend.  Fucking a dancer can be a great experience and a decent fill-in for sex with a real girl friend but it is not the same thing.  With a real girl friend, you can take your time and not hand her money at the end.  Of course with a real girl friend, you also have some responsibility for getting her off and for her having a good time.  Personally, I enjoy that part but some guys don't so they're better off with dancers and hookers.

If you read back on this site, I think I've answered some questions like this before so you may find more info there.

Good luck.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Bad Visit

I had a bad experience in a strip club recently.  This is a low mileage club but the girls are cute enough to make it worth going there.  My problem was with a bouncer guy there who is very nasty and makes the place seem unfriendly.  The girls are friendly but this guy is not.

I selected a dancer and we went back to the booth area.  I sat down in the chair with the curtain open as we were waiting for the song in progress to stop.  The dancer was with me and suddenly the bouncer comes by, takes her aside and whispers something to her I cannot here.  She comes to me and says she's not going to be allowed to do the dance with me because my fly is down.

I look.  My fly is not down.  I show her.  She calls the bouncer over and tells him.  He says, "He zipped it up but his fly was down when he walked back here with you."

I tell him politely he is wrong.  He gets hostile with me.  I tell him to call the manager.  He pulls out a walkie-talkie and calls the manager.

The manager comes in and I explain the problem.  The manager says, "Well, it's your word against his."  I point out that it's my word AND the dancer's word against it.  The manager says, "She doesn't count.  She just doesn't want to lose the dance."

In front of the manager, I ask the bouncer what he saw that made him think my fly was down.  He says he saw the white of my shorts.  I was wearing dark blue jeans so the white stood out.

I say, "I'm not wearing white shorts."  I open my pants a bit to show that my shorts are dark red.  I tell him the bouncer owes me an apology and I think he owes the dancer an apology for basically accusing her of lying.

The manager tells me to get the fuck out of his club.  What should I have done?

Get the fuck out of his club.  You can't win with assholes like that.